Author: sweetNslow
Needless to say, since matagal na rin akong walang naisa submit na story, at di mawala sa isip ko ang pantasya kong kalibugan, I thought maybe I’ll just write a fictionalized account about Lilian and me. Since malabong matuloy sa katotohanan, at least natuloy sa kuwento man lang. Napailing na lang ako sa justification ko.
So it was one of those slow nights sa bilyaran. Wala din si Marco. Wala akong makakuwentuhan. So iniwan ko muna kay Suwabe, ang medyo salaula kong alalay, ang pagbabantay sa bilyaran. Trustworthy naman kahit medyo mahina ang kukote.
I got into my car bitbit ang laptop ko. I needed a place to relax . Naisip ko rin na mabuti pang isulat ko na lang ang pantasya ko ang maybe get it out of my system. Binagtas ko ang kahabaan ng Quezon Avenue. Binagalan ko pa lalo nang mapatapat ako sa BK sa welcome Rotonda. It’s 1am on a Sunday. Walang masyadong tao. Ah well…What better place to start this fictional story kundi sa mismong pinag-ugatan nito?
Matapos kong ngitian at tanguan ang guard na nagbukas ng pinto, Mabilis akong nakaorder ng burger, fries and coffee. I found a nice place sa gilid. Wala namang tao sa bakanteng mesa sa likod ko so kampante akong naupo. Fully charged naman ang laptop ko. I ate quickly dahil na rin sa medyo gutom then slowed down on the coffee part. Lumabas ako sandali while not taking my eyes off sa laptop ko to do my vaping shit for awhile. Maaliwalas ang langit. Walang masyadong traffic although marami pa ring mga taong naghihintay ng masasakyan sa labas at ilang mga taong naglalakad sa bangketa.
Umorder pa uli ako ng another set of fries and a large coffee. Black na talaga this time. Although I prefer my coffee with 2 teaspoons of sugar and a certain amount of milk to make it moderately brown, I decided to be more unconventional. I need my senses to be fully awake. Im planning to write a beautiful story (at least para sa sarili kong panlasa). And so I started…
Mabilis akong magsulat this time. Inspired. Although mabagal ang pacing ng mga stories na naisulat ko na. Ayokong nagmamadali. Somehow I want my characters to be as real as possible and the trigger factors resulting into sex can at least be emotionally or psychologically possible. One thing more, I can get caught up and be too engrossed sa sinusulat ko that I become oblivious to what’s happening around me. Lalo pa nga’t nasa kainitan na ng sex scenes between her and me (in this fiction, of course!). Big mistake!
Napansin ko ang guard na tinging-tingin sa kin at napapangiti. I was puzzled by the way he looked at me. Then I realized pati mga crew sa counter nakatingin sa direksyon ko. Natatawa. May bumangong nerbyos sa dibdib ko. Bigla akong lumingon sa likuran ko. Si Lilian. Nakatapat ang hintuturo sa labi. The universal sign of Shhh, wag kayong maingay.
Mabilis kong tiniklop ang laptop.
“Hi,” bati ko,”kanina ka pa dyan?”
“Hindi naman. Mga 15 minutes siguro give or take a few,” sagot niya.
“Bakit ka naman napapunta dito?” I was trying to be as casual as possible although lumilindol yata sa loob ng dibdib ko.
“Bakit? Ikaw lang ba marunong kumain ng burger at fries? At uminom ng kape?”
Pagkasabi nun ay hinagip ni Lilian ang kape ko at humigop dun.
“Yuck! Ang pait na anlamig pa!” reklamo niya
Napahalakhak akong mabuti. It was so funny the way she said and she looked so cute with that facial expression of hers. Its so natural. Walang arte. Fuck, lalo lang nahuhulog loob ko sa batang to.
“What kind of a man you are?” may pag aakusa ang kanyang boses.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
Medyo natakot ako. Siguro nabasa nya ng husto ang sinusulat ko. Patay! Manyakis to da max ang magiging peg ko nito sa kanya.
“Ni hindi mo man lang ako ioorder ng makakain. Susko pagod ang tao galing sa work. Exposed sa radiation tapos wala ka man lang malasakit na mararamdaman sa ka chat mo? Tell me? Kuripot ka ba?”
I found myself shaking my head and smiling at the same time. Ansarap niyang pakinggan maglitanya lalo pa nga’t nagtataray. Lalo lang siyang gumaganda sa paningin ko.
“O ano?” pinandilatan pa ko ng singkit na mata.
“Oorder na. Burgers and fries? Coffee with cream or hot choco?” tanong ko.
“Hot choco, dear,” may halong landi ng mata ang pagkakasabi nito.
Napapatawa ang crew sa counter habang umoorder ako. Hindi siguro maitago ng mukha ko yung saya na nararamdaman ko while ordering. She was smiling at me. Malisyosa. A knowing smile, ika nga. Napailing na lang ako.
Inilapag ko ang mga inorder ko sa harapan niya while she’s till on her phone. I didn’t ask her about it. Good manners require me not to be too inquisitive lalo pa nga’t its her own business anyway. Then she put down the phone and looked at me.
“My mom. I said sa hospital na ko matutulog,” she explained nonetheless.
Tumango lang ako. It was about 3am, and of course, kung magkakahabaan ang chikahan namin, aabutin kami ng sikat ng araw dito. Ah, the stars are probably aligning with my fate. Masaya ako.At least I get to see her. Be near her. Talk to her. Mababaw na kaligayahan but all worth it. Thank God for people who likes burger and fries. All hail to the ones who started the 24 hour fastfood chain!
“What’s on your mind?” she asked in between munches|. She caught me looking at her.
“You know you’re beautiful…”
Damn!Too late. Di ko napigil sabihin what’s on my mind. Uh-oh.Big boo-boo. Too fresh! Call 911! Stupid Idiot on the loose! Sunoggggg!
And she became the all in one rescue team with her answer.
“I know,” kibit balikat niya sabay tingin sa kin. “Kaya nga andyan ka and you keep staring at me tapos inilibre mo pa ko. What more proof do I need? Hehehe.”
“Sige. Kain ka na muna. Mukhang gutom nga lang yan.”
Napatingin sa min ang ilang mga tao, staff and customers alike, dahil na rin sa magkasabay naming paghalakhak. But we didn’t care. At that moment, at least for me, all is right in the world.
Masarap ang haplos ng hangin while im vaping. Nakasandal ako sa car door waiting for her. She needed the toilet. It’s about 4am. Medyo dumadami na ang tao sa paligid. People ready to start their day already while I was about to end mine. Although, deep within, I really don’t want it to end. Napalalim ang hithit ko sa vape. Really liked it. Got me off the cigarette. I like vaping although I’m really annoyed sa mga nagvi-vape with those cloud of smoke. Mine was like a cigarette na naka set lang sa low wattage and a small tip on the top unlike those they use na pag hinithit mo e para kang adik na lumulubog ang pisngi.
I was lost in the pros and cons of vapes, different types and reasons when she walked out of the door. Fuck Vapes! Just like that, she occupied my being. Like magic. Sigh.
“Tara let’s,” she said.
“Sure,Kid,” pagsang-ayon ko.
“Tseh! Told you I’m not a kid.”
“Sorry, I forgot. Never again. Promise.”
Then she smiled and we both went inside the car. As per usual, after the backing up maneuver and the 20 peso ritual with the guard, we’re finally cruising along Quezon Avenue. I turned on the radio. A soft sweet love song filled the car.
“Words and music make a song
For our hearts to sing along
Like a choir within the air
There’ll be music everywhere…”
“You don’t like it?” Tanong ko.
“It’s good. Nice lyrics. Soothing melody,” sagot niya.
Yet somehow I know her mind is on another thing. Like may iniisiip siyang malalim ba. Probably a problem at work? Family?
“Problem?” I ventured.
“Not really. Don’t mind me. Pagod lang siguro,” kaswal niyang sagot.
So I focused on my driving ang hummed along with the song.
“A bitter tear across your cheek.
A smile from you is all I need.
We’ll give them cause to breathe the air.
There’ll be lover’s everywhere,”
“You know, I like reading stories,” panimula niya.
Napaubo ako bigla. She read it! OMG! Now im in deep shit. Di ko alam kung paano ako magsasalita but lamely I tried.
“Look, it’s just a story,Ok? No harm intended.”
“E, bakit namumutla ka yata?” pang aasar nito
“It’s pretty embarrassing ok? Im really sorry. I didn’t know what came into my mind.”
Hindi ko na alam kung may sense ang pinagsasabi ko. I didn’t mean it? No! I was fantasizing it. How could I not mean it?
“Ah, you don’t mean it? I find it rather insulting, to be honest,” medyo sumimangot pa si Lilian.
“What im trying to say was it’s not supposed to be read by you,” I said with my the most apologetic voice I can muster.
“Too late. I read it,” pagtatapos niya.
I stopped talking. Whats the point? Bistado na ang kamanyakan ko…ang pagpapantasya ko. |This will probably be the end of it. All I can do is pretend to be concentrating with my driving…and a barely audible sigh habang patuloy ang kanta sa car radio.
“I’ll be your singer and your song
For all the love you brought along
I’ll be your day, I’ll be your night
I’ll see that everything’s all right”
“Pero you know, in fairness, I think you write good,” pagbasag niya uli sa katahimikan.
“What? Oh…Thanks,” mahinahon na ang boses ko.
“Much as I like reading a fictional story,”
She was looking at me, like reading something in my face.
“I prefer reading true stories.” Pagtatapos niya.
Then she took my free hand and the palm side touched her face. I was dumbstruck. I slowly looked at her…so beautiful in my eyes. I don’t want to talk. Maybe I’m fuckin dreaming! And if I wake up at this very moment, there’s a big chance I might kill myself. Yet she remained there looking at me with those lovely eyes and those wanting lips.
“So what do you think?” she purred.
Napalunok na lang ako. I can’t trust myself to speak that very moment. Instead I focused on treading the rather tricky part of the Quezon Memorial circle pabalik sa apartment ko, wishing I could drive fast but ever carefully driving slow. I want to be the safest driver in town. At least tonight…at least this very, very special night.
She leaned her head on the side of my shoulder as the song just kept on going…
“I’ll turn the ocean into sand
Like my heart at your command
I’ll make the raindrops turn to snow
And then everyone will know
That we’re in love…”
TO BE CONTINUED…
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