Written by gelai8220
I haven’t written in a while…been busy with life. So here goes another one.
August 9, 2009
I can’t quite describe the shock I’ve felt when I saw his name in the chat room where I usually hang around at. It was almost impossible. Ferdie as I used to call him. He used to call me Angel, not because it’s my name but because he said that I was his angel. I keep looking at the messages over and over again. It’s true, it is him…after 2+ years of not talking to each other.
Chat room conversation:
Ferdie: Where in Toronto are you from Gela?
Gela: Along North York area, close by Yorkdale mall.
Ferdie: I always visit Toronto you know, maybe we can meet. I will be there by September 1, 2009.
Gela: Oh talaga? Where do you want to meet? The mall is public enough sa Yorkdale na lang.
Ferdie: Di ba masyadong public dun? Are you sure you want to meet me there?
Gela: With my profession, I do believe I would like to meet anyone at the mall. Ingat ka lang kasi may dala akong posas and police bodyguards. (I was laughing at this point).
Ferdie: Ok lang yun. Sa CN tower na lang kaya?
Gela: Sure ka? Sige sa CN tower then tutulak kita after.
Ferdie: Whoa De ja vu!
Gela: I know. Somehow, parang I’ve been in this type of conversation before with someone before.
Ferdie: I know. PM kita pwede ba?
Gela: I guess it’s best.
My friends in the chat room were all whistling and laughing. They were making fun of me and were saying that I got somebody on private. I was still a bit hesitant on talking to him. I’m sort of scared on what I will know.
Private Chat:
Ferdie: Gela what is your name, your real name?
Gela: Angelique
Ferdie: Let me start with some questions. How is the law firm?
(Shit this is it, I know it’s him)
Gela: It’s fine, I left that company already and opened up my own practice.
Ferdie: And the kids.
(I got teary eyed as he was asking more personal questions. It is him. The guy I let go because of Mr Vegas guy)
Gela: They’re ok (sniff)
Ferdie: Hey don’t cry please. I’m in shock as much as you are. Look we can talk about this tomorrow if you want. For now, let’s just stand back, take in all the pressure and then we’ll talk.
Gela: Ok Ferdie. We really need to talk.
Ferdie: I know Angel, I know. Two years of trying to get you out of my head. Two years for wanting to move on yet I can’t. Two years of wanting you yet scared to even call you. Two years of no chatting because I’m scared to fall in love again and then lose again. After all those years I never expected that the very first person I would be talking to will be you. Enough of this, I need to think Angel…I really need to think.
He added me to his messenger list and then left with not even a “bye”.
August 9, 2009
Why do I feel like this? Why did he come back so suddenly. Two years ago he didn’t even tell me he loved me. He just let go of me. Kung sinabi lang nya na mahal nya ko I would have stayed with him. Pero hindi, he said I need to grow up. He said I’m not ready for a real relationship yet. He said I should learn first. I was watching a movie “17 Again” when my phone rang.
Ferdie: Angel, why is your landline busy? May kausap ka ba?
Gela: Oh hey! Wala nahang lang siguro by accident. So? Still in shock?
Ferdie: Yeah but I have to get over it. We need to talk…
Gela: I know.
Ferdie: So how are you?
Gela: Ok naman, puro work, kids, you know the usual.
Ferdie: I meant How Are YOU. Yung ikaw.
Gela: I’m lonely, I’m sad.
Ferdie: Vegas guy?
Gela: It lasted less than a year. He became controlling.
Ferdie: Did you learn anything?
Gela: Yeah, I learned that guys are full of shit.
Ferdie: Hey, hindi naman lahat.
Gela: Hindi ba? You let me go then, damn it! You made me go with him kahit na alam mo na mahal mo ko. You didn’t even stop me. You said you want me to learn, when I could’ve learned all of it with you. You’re not fair Ferdie…So tell me if you’re not an ass either!
Ferdie: Angel, I’m sorry. Look, I’m due in Toronto on September. I’ll take my off early. Pupuntahan kita ok? I’ll be there in a few hours. Naka book na flight ko. 6 hours Angel, I’ll be there and we can talk. I can finally hug you like I used to…Angel I missed you so much.
Gela: I miss you too Ferdie…I miss you…
Ferdie: I love you.
(click)
Bukas naman po kasunod…work muna ako 😀
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