Read Bitaw – Pinoy Sex Stories

Written by somebodyuused2know

A/N: If you’re looking for a hardcore sexual read, this piece isn’t for you.

Parang tanga lang tong si Morissette. Ang kulit, panay sigaw “gusto ko ng bumitaw!” Sa isip ko, eh di bumitaw ka! Napailing ako, natatawa, pati si Mori na kumakanta lang naman dinadamay.

Naisip ko na naman tuloy yung huling kita namin. Dun talaga nagsimula ang ending. Andun pa rin naman yung init, yung sabik. Pero bakit pakiramdam ko kulang na, hindi na ako masyadong napapaso, ako ba ang kumapal lang ang balat o siya ang nabawasan ang init ng mga palad? Ramdam ko pa rin yung gigil niya habang nilalamas ang dalawang suso ko at kinakalabit ang mga nipples ko. Mainit pa rin ang hagod ng dila niya sa clit ko, masarap pa rin ang pagfinger niya sa kepz ko. Pero bakit nakulangan ako? Di ko alam kung yung isip ko ba ang nakahiwalay sa katawan ko kaya parang kapos ang ginawa niya nung huling beses kaming magkasama? O talaga lang na ramdam kong may nag-iba na sa kanya?

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“Nakikipaglaban sa digmaan na talunan.
Akala ko ika’y sa akin pa pero hindi na pala.”

Ayun na naman si Mareng Mori, naghihimutok. Pero yung totoo, medyo uminit mata ko sa mga linyang kinanta niya.

It has been years since that last meet up. Pinag-awayan na namin ng ilang beses yun. Kasi when pandemic hit, siempre hindi kami nagkikita. And when things started getting back to normal, nawala naman yung drive ko to go out and meet up with him. Dami ko dahilan. Until finally, I admitted to him I don’t want to meet him. Not yet. I told him about the last time we were together. Yung feelings ko. And he was mad, really mad.

Ang babaw ko daw. Ang laki ng tama sa utak. He so easily invalidated what I felt at that time. Na pakiramdam ko, everything was just in my mind. Ako nga lang ba ang dudero? Tamang insecure lang? Still, he failed to convince me that we meet. Hanggang tumigil na lang din siya sa pangungulit. Pero andun pa rin naman ang everyday texts, ang updates kung anong ginagawa niya, kung nasa work na siya, kung kumain na ba siya, pauwi na at kung nakauwi na. So I thought, secured ako sa relasyon namin kahit ilang taon na kaming di nagkikita.

Minsan tatanungin niya ako, “hon hindi mo ba nami-miss ang kantot ko sayo? Sabik na sabik na ako sayo. Puro salsal na lang ginagawa ko.” Tatawa lang ako. Sasagutin na hindi. Na galingan pa niya pagsalsal. Pero minsan-minsan, bibiruin ko siya na alam ko namang may iba nang humihimas sa kanya. May iba ng dumidila sa titi niya, at may ibang kepz na rin siyang kinakain, kinakantot. And he would only reply “kike mo. Kantutin kita jan eh.”

Until that day. Walang texts. It was past 4, he was supposed to be done with his shift by that time. Ang isip ko, naubusan lang ng load. Or nadrain ang battery. So I waited until the usual time that he should have arrived home. Pero wala pa ring paramdam. So I called him up. The phone wasn’t even ringing. I tried his Messenger. Same thing. Nada. I started to get really worried. May nangyari ba? Natatakot ako baka nadisgrasya sa pagmo-motor and he has no way of contacting me. My mind and heart were racing.

“Gusto ko ng bumitaw, pero ayaw pa ng puso.
Gusto ko ng bumitaw, may pag-asa pa siguro.”

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He reached out the following day. Apologizing. Saying his phone broke. Ano pang sasabihin ko? Nag-alala lang ako, sabi ko. And he said sorry again. At tandaan ko daw, kahit ang dami niyang pagkukulang, mahal na mahal niya ako. That was Sunday night. Monday morning, he sent me a message. Naiinis daw siya kasi pumasok pa siya na-approve naman daw pala ang leave niya. Hindi naman daw puede ipa-retract. So I asked him how come he failed to tell me that he’s supposed to be on leave? Bakit siya nag-leave? Then he replied hindi ko daw ba naintindihan, hindi nga daw niya alam na na-approve. And at that time, natatawa na ako. I replied back. Sabi ko oo nga hindi siya nainform that it was approved. But that wasn’t my question. I asked why did he file a leave in the first place and then conveniently forgot to tell me. Nadulas lang ba siyang sabihin na naka-leave siya? Sabi ko siguro may lakad siya na napilitan siyang icancel na lang at mainit ulo niya kasi nga things didn’t push through as planned. He said may mga lalakarin lang sana siya. Pero pupunta na lang siya sa bahay ng anak niya para dalawin ang apo, hindi na ako sumagot. A few hours after that, he sent pictures of his grand daughter. Hindi pa rin ako sumagot. I let a week passed, gusto ko kasing pakalmahin ang sarili ko. My heart knows something’s going on. And I’m not sure if I can handle it. Wala rin siyang paramdam. Bagay na hindi niya ginagawa before kapag nag-aaway kami. Hindi niya pinalilipas ng ganun katagal ang away namin.

Narinig ko na naman si Mori. Wala daw pupuntahan kailanman ang maling pag-ibig. Ang lakas ng tama. Nang-aano din talaga tong singer na to eh.

And my mind drifted back to that single call. I was unable to reach him. Again. Hindi ko alam if wala na ba ang number niya. Pero 1 week pa lang naman kami hindi nag-uusap. Blinock kaya ako? So I sent him a message sa Messenger. I haven’t even finished typing the next line when my phone rang. It was him. Kumakabog ang dibdib ko.

When I answered, galit ang boses niya. Unfortunately, choppy ang line. All I heard was “napagod na ako.” since our last meeting daw, then incoherent na naman mga sinasabi niya. Para akong nahirapan huminga. Literal. And when I spoke, I can hear my voice quivering. Sabi ko no need to talk about the past, okay na ako knowing na okay naman pala siya. Then he said “hindi ako okay.” And he ended the call. Just like that. Ganun lang siya bumitaw sa sampung taon na pinagsamahan.

Totoo nga sabi ni Mori…walang patutunguhan ang maling pagmamahalan. Pero bakit kailangang ganun lang? Umiyak ako. Malakas. Masakit na hagulhol. Alam ko naman, ramdam ko, tapos na. And I can’t fight for him kasi siya na yung bumitaw eh. Wala ako sa lugar para lumaban kahit man lang para sa sakit na naramdaman ko.

How could have he ended it through a single, short call? What we had was beautiful. Natapos sa ganung linya lang. Then a friend offered to call him up. Sabi niya para lang magkausap pa kami. Masagot pa yung ibang tanong ko.

But it was a woman who answered my friend’s call. The woman was livid. Binaba na ng kaibigan ko ang tawag. But the woman called her up 5 times. She apologized if she was rude. And on she went ranting, na live in na sila. Kung siya daw ba si ganito. O siya si ganun. O siya yung taga Fairview.

My fears were confirmed. Nung oras na malaman ko yun from my friend, numb na ako. Wala ng luha. She told me feeling niya, he still loves me, and the number proves it. Naghahanap pa rin ba siya ng kapalit ko? Pero nakipag-live in na. Again, friend told me kung totoo man yun, at least wala na ako sa posisyon na mas masasaktan pa. And if the new woman had to call her up several times and rant about their situation, that explains his last words to me before he ended up the call. “Hindi ako okay.”

Another friend told me an affair is never beautiful. We just want to validate the mistakes by saying that it is. Still, whether it was wrong and the ending was ugly, it doesn’t take away the moments we had. That I can cherish those moments. But i have to let go. Or I will keep on giving him that power to continue hurting me.

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So yeah, eto ako, sinasabayan si mareng Mori bumirit. “GUSTO KO NG BUMITAWWWW!!!” Lulunurin ko sa kanta ang sakit. Kasi gusto ko pa sanang sabihin sa kanya na hindi ko naman nami-miss yung kantot niya, pero siya, miss na miss ko na. Na sana, kung pagod na siya, sinabi niya agad sa akin para pareho kaming nagpahinga, that if he felt neglected, I can try and make him feel na hindi pa rin ako nagbago, I am still trying to give him all that I have. Kaya lang, wala na akong chance to say those. Bumitaw na siya eh.

Kanta na lang ako ulit. Sasabayan si Mori until my tears are dry. At nagalit ang aso ko sa piyok ko, kinahulan ako. Bad dog.